Disclaimer: I do not claim to be a medical professional nor should any information in this blog be considered as medical advice.
Body maintenance as a Male StripperIt’s Hen’s Party season!!! Time to start counting calories, manscape the chest, legs and balls, stock up on Bondi Sands, sculpt the eyebrows and get a haircut. Not to mention buying the right equipment like a good Penis Pump, rubber bands and towels.
It sounds like a lot and let me tell you… IT IS! I really feel for women that have to do this year in, year out. For me, as a Male Stripper that doesn’t have perfect features naturally, it becomes quite the chore and after a while becomes super draining.
Let me set the scene. It’s Monday morning at the Fire Station after a very long and tiring weekend with long nights and non-stop interactions with copious groups of drunk women. My schedule is tight with 6 Strip Shows booked back to back so I know everything has to go smoothly at every job otherwise I’ll be late (which, unfortunately, is part of the stereotype of Male Stripper, and rightfully so because some just don’t care that much).
You don’t want to fuck up someone’s night by being late, especially if they have something booked after you. All the while trying my upmost to maintain my smile so I can spread the positive vibes.
After a few months of this, all I want to do is put my feet up and relax… You know, have a bit of Tommy time. Maybe get a massage or let my mustache grow a little, definitely let my Penis have a rest from the many times of being pumped up and inflated via said cock pump. Even have a day or two (a week would be nice) off of the gym.
How does a week of body maintenance look for me?I’ll preface this by saying my week is probably a lot busier than your average bear’s, given that I work full time as a Fire Fighter and own and operate 2 small businesses that I have to work in to my personal and social lives.
One of the businesses is Desire Entertainment and the other and I run a kitchen installation business which keeps me very busy and burns lots of calories.
My physical health is a massive priority for me and not just so I can look good as a Male Stripper. I like to think I look at physical health differently to most gym goers but we’ll get to that. Knowing that I don’t have much free time just to go to the gym when I feel like it or plan my day around my meals etc., I have to manage the time I do have to be able to fit it all in.
It goes a little something like this:-2 days a week I work 40 hours at the Fire Station (our shifts stay the same length but change days on a week to week basis)-Every other day (even some Sundays) I’m installing kitchens for different kitchen and building companies. I usually do 8-10 hours of this a day. The hours increase when the workload increases.-When I finish on the tools for the day, I get home and clean myself up etc. have a shake and go to the gym/pool/sauna.
-When I’ve finished my workout, I’ll head home to have a clean meal (usually meat a vegies)
-After dinner is Desire Entertainment time. I’ll jump onto the computer and answer emails, respond to enquiries, allocate and lock in the performers to each booking, manage the website and maybe even whip up some content for the website and socials.
These days as I get older, I realise how important it is to try to stay young. Especially having placed on myself, the task of making women blush when I walk in the room (I understand fully that it isn’t all me when this is achieved but looking your best definitely helps).
I’m writing this blog at age 31 and having had many injuries that I have had to work though over the years, and am still working through. I now put a massive emphasis on Movement Training, something that has changed my whole outlook on training as a whole and something that I believe everyone would benefit from and should be doing.
If you are curious about what I’m talking about and feel the need to investigate, look up ‘Praksis’ in Campbell, Canberra. That space has been a game changer for myself and many others.
Let’s get down to the point of this blog, the Body Maintenance.
There are a lot of things that have to be done daily so I won’t write them into the daily schedule below. I will highlight a lot of them in the training and nutrition schedule further down the page.
Keep in mind that I am at the Fire Station for 2 days a week. For this example, let’s just say I’m there on Wednesday and Thursday.Monday:
Wednesday (at the fire station):
Sunday – Recovery day:
Training Split: I am about to list what my current workout schedule is. This has changed many times over the years as I learn more and more about my own body and what it needs.
The weekly split, from start to finish:
WorkoutsLower body (day 1):
Upper Body (push + pull designed by Praksis):
I started at a much lower progression and will eventually progress to much further progressions. For now, these are the exercises that I’m doing.
Warmup (2 rounds)
Bent Arm exercise/s:
Straight Arm Exercise/s (3 sets or each):
Lower Body (day 2):Warm up
Here is a video by one of my favorite coaches over at SquatU – https://youtu.be/2_e4I-brfqsExercises
I stole this very effective workout from Josh from Strength Side on YouTube – https://youtu.be/kTC1Kjoe_9c
Nutrition schedule: *I am not certified to give nutritional advice and I do not recommend that anyone do what I do. This is purely how I structure my own nutrition from week to week.
A few guide lines that I follow:
Just to name a few…Wake up:
Roughly 2-3 hours later:
Before a workout: I usually train in the afternoon/evening, so the stimulant pre-workouts supplements don’t work for me given that I prioritise my sleep over everything.
After a workout I like to eat a meal rather than having more supplements. This system of focusing on getting enough protein and Amino Acids throughout the day and not worrying so much about having supplements within the anabolic window but instead, eating some nice food after a workout seems to work for me. Even if it isn’t within this mystical window, I still seem to be able to metabolize everything a lot fast so I can keep the excess fat off and get those gains at the same time.Before Bed:I like to leave at least an hour between my last meal and when I finally go to bed. Having said that, I will have a protein shake (sometimes even with milk) before I go to bed, if I haven’t had enough protein and/or calories for that day.
Other little hacks that help me get through life and keep up the maintenance as a Male Stripper:As you now know, I prioritize my sleep before anything else so it shouldn’t be surprising that I have a long list of hacks and most of them are sleep related.
I’ll start the shower off on a normal ‘hot’ temperature but after about 2 minutes or so I’ll turn the tap all the way in the other direction and finish my shower off like this. This may take up to 10 minutes depending on if I have to shave or I’m exfoliating my face that day etc. The shock stimuli that my body goes through just seems to get everything working, from my mind to my penis and everything in between.Pro Tip: To be able to get through the stinging cold blast, you must focus on your breathing. Take slow deep breathes, focussing on getting a long exhale. If you don’t and you start doing those little panic breathes, you’re done for!!!
(If you too would like to learn about bio hacking as I do, definitely look up Ben Greenfield. He’s the man.)Etc… There is probably a lot more I could add to this ever growing list of lifestyle changes but I’ll leave it at that for now.I’ll admit… I do like to squeeze out most minutes of the day to get the most out of life (that’s the way I see it), and sometimes I definitely do overdo it. Working hard and smart has gotten me to where I am today, having a life that a lot of my friends look at with envy. Even though I love my life and I have created a life that gives me lots of choices, I’m only getting started.I feel as though my life has only just begun. Legitimately, my life only really started about 5 year ago, having hit rock bottom and been completely rocked by the loss of a very close family member. I almost felt and still feel somewhat, that it’s now my responsibility to be ready when the time comes that a family member needs my help. I’m not going to be the one that needs help because I didn’t work hard enough on my goals when I could have.Anyways… I digress. I don’t believe that it takes a certain type of person to run a schedule like the one I have just described and as I said earlier, not everyone has to keep up their body maintenance as a Male Stripper but it does take certain attributes and it definitely helps having some certain characteristics like I happen have. Anyone that wants something bad enough will make it happen, and in this case, I want to be at my best, perform and look at my best so that every Hen’s Party that I attend and every single Bride-To-Be gets the best experience that I know will leave a lasting impression.Yours truly,Tommy Desire Director of Desire Entertainment