Body Maintenance as a Male Stripper

Disclaimer: I do not claim to be a medical professional nor should any information in this blog be considered as medical advice.

Body maintenance as a Male StripperIt’s Hen’s Party season!!! Time to start counting calories, manscape the chest, legs and balls, stock up on Bondi Sands, sculpt the eyebrows and get a haircut. Not to mention buying the right equipment like a good Penis Pump, rubber bands and towels.

It sounds like a lot and let me tell you… IT IS! I really feel for women that have to do this year in, year out. For me, as a Male Stripper that doesn’t have perfect features naturally, it becomes quite the chore and after a while becomes super draining.

Let me set the scene. It’s Monday morning at the Fire Station after a very long and tiring weekend with long nights and non-stop interactions with copious groups of drunk women. My schedule is tight with 6 Strip Shows booked back to back so I know everything has to go smoothly at every job otherwise I’ll be late (which, unfortunately, is part of the stereotype of Male Stripper, and rightfully so because some just don’t care that much).

You don’t want to fuck up someone’s night by being late, especially if they have something booked after you. All the while trying my upmost to maintain my smile so I can spread the positive vibes.

After a few months of this, all I want to do is put my feet up and relax… You know, have a bit of Tommy time. Maybe get a massage or let my mustache grow a little, definitely let my Penis have a rest from the many times of being pumped up and inflated via said cock pump. Even have a day or two (a week would be nice) off of the gym.

How does a week of body maintenance look for me?I’ll preface this by saying my week is probably a lot busier than your average bear’s, given that I work full time as a Fire Fighter and own and operate 2 small businesses that I have to work in to my personal and social lives.

One of the businesses is Desire Entertainment and the other and I run a kitchen installation business which keeps me very busy and burns lots of calories.

My physical health is a massive priority for me and not just so I can look good as a Male Stripper. I like to think I look at physical health differently to most gym goers but we’ll get to that. Knowing that I don’t have much free time just to go to the gym when I feel like it or plan my day around my meals etc., I have to manage the time I do have to be able to fit it all in.

It goes a little something like this:-2 days a week I work 40 hours at the Fire Station (our shifts stay the same length but change days on a week to week basis)-Every other day (even some Sundays) I’m installing kitchens for different kitchen and building companies. I usually do 8-10 hours of this a day. The hours increase when the workload increases.-When I finish on the tools for the day, I get home and clean myself up etc. have a shake and go to the gym/pool/sauna.

-When I’ve finished my workout, I’ll head home to have a clean meal (usually meat a vegies)

-After dinner is Desire Entertainment time. I’ll jump onto the computer and answer emails, respond to enquiries, allocate and lock in the performers to each booking, manage the website and maybe even whip up some content for the website and socials.

Physical Health

These days as I get older, I realise how important it is to try to stay young. Especially having placed on myself, the task of making women blush when I walk in the room (I understand fully that it isn’t all me when this is achieved but looking your best definitely helps).

I’m writing this blog at age 31 and having had many injuries that I have had to work though over the years, and am still working through. I now put a massive emphasis on Movement Training, something that has changed my whole outlook on training as a whole and something that I believe everyone would benefit from and should be doing.

If you are curious about what I’m talking about and feel the need to investigate, look up ‘Praksis’ in Campbell, Canberra. That space has been a game changer for myself and many others.

Let’s get down to the point of this blog, the Body Maintenance.

There are a lot of things that have to be done daily so I won’t write them into the daily schedule below. I will highlight a lot of them in the training and nutrition schedule further down the page.

Keep in mind that I am at the Fire Station for 2 days a week. For this example, let’s just say I’m there on Wednesday and Thursday.Monday:

• Exfoliate – Usually I’ll try to exfoliate to keep my skin young, but also to try and speed of the process of washing the fake tan off from the weekend just gone.
• Face mask – Have to keep the skin glowing. I usually go with a clay mask.
• Gym and Sauna – I like to focus on strength and at the moment I have an emphasis on legs/compound lifts but always have core strength in mind. Handstands at the end of the session (See training split and nutrition schedule below). And if I have time, I’ll hit the sauna.

Tuesday:

• Gym – Mobility and core work.
• Infrared Sauna – I’m a huge fan on the detoxifying and healing properties combined of an Infrared Sauna. I find after a few weeks of using this consistently I notice the difference with my energy and rate of recovery. I try to do some light Yoga based stretching while concentrating on my breathing during my Sauna time too.

Wednesday (at the fire station):

• Exfoliate – Try to remove the remainder of last week’s fake tan.
• Work Gym – Handstands and Upper body strength session designed by Praksis (see training split for the details).

Thursday:

• Work Gym – strength session with a little bit of hypertrophy at the end.
• Hair removal – as a Fire Fighter, I have to be clean shaven before every shift. Usually Thursday will be the day to do all man-scaping and tanning but while I’m on shift I start it all off by (very carefully) hitting a few spots with a razor.

Friday:

• Water/Carb Intake – I start thinking about my ratios with these 2. If I get this right then I will look even more shredded when I perform tonight and tomorrow night. (See nutrition schedule)
• Man-scape and Tan (this is usually a Thursday task but I can’t do all of this at the fire station for obvious reasons) – Time to bust out the hair remover and fake tan. Thursday is usually my day to make sure the balls/ass and chest are smooth before embracing the goldening and confidence boosting effects of Bondi Sands. Knowing that I probably have a few bookings at night I’ll try and do this in the morning so as to allow enough time for the tan to dry and just in case I miss some hair.
• Hen’s Parties – usually there are less jobs on Fridays compared to Saturdays but I treat every booking the same. Be on time, make sure you warm up properly and pump up both muscles and penis beforehand, prepare speaking and playlist and of course complete the prep with having you costume on point.

Saturday:

• Sleep in – Hopefully! After the busy weekly schedule, the Friday night bookings and probably not getting to sleep before 11pm last night, I will need it to be able to perform and be my full self at tonight Hen’s Parties. I will even sleep in a little bit if I am working on the tools that day.
• Water/Carb intake: getting this right is the difference between feeling shredded and dry or feeling not so peeled or even bloated.
• Hen’s parties/Birthdays/Divorce parties etc.: As already written in the Friday schedule.
• Water – at the end of the night, after having minimal water for the past 2 days, I will drink about 2 litres before I get home and make sure I excrete the water before I go to sleep.

Sunday – Recovery day:

• Sleep in – I will set my phone to aeroplane mode and make sure no alarms are active so that I am not disturbed during the night and can wake up naturally.
• Reading time – I won’t eat anything until after I’ve lounged around a little bit with my morning coffee before hooking in to a good book (I’m reading ‘Silk Roads by Peter Frankopan at the moment). My aim is to relax and de-clutter my brain in between being so busy minded during the week.
• Breakfast – I’ll try to catch up with a friend or two for Sunday breaky. I like to order something like a big breakfast to get the calories up before the big week ahead.
• Praksis – Handstands and movement class. On a Sunday I like to get the body moving properly but keep things at a low intensity and for me, Praksis is the answer.
• Sauna and pool session – I try to fit this in in the afternoon and I find that I feel much more refreshed compared to the weeks that I don’t get to the do this.

Training Split: I am about to list what my current workout schedule is. This has changed many times over the years as I learn more and more about my own body and what it needs.

The weekly split, from start to finish:

Lower body

Handstands/Movement

Upper body

Lower bodyHandstands/Movement

WorkoutsLower body (day 1):

Warm up

• 5-10 minutes of bike with a game of solitaire on the screen
• Ankle and hip mobilization
• Core and glute activations – McGill big 3 and monster walks/clams (isometric holds)

Exercises

• Ass to grass Squats 5 sets x 5 reps
• Nordic curls 5 x 5
• Hip thrusts (or variation of) 3 x 12-15 w/ short break (30-45 seconds)
• Hack Squat 3 x 12-15 w/ short break

Core work

• Hollow back (1 min) + Core Wheel (5 slow reps) x3 sets
• Handstands

Upper Body (push + pull designed by Praksis):

I started at a much lower progression and will eventually progress to much further progressions. For now, these are the exercises that I’m doing.

Warmup (2 rounds)

• Core activations e.g. bear crawls
• Hanging scapular pull ups x 10 reps
• Serratus push ups x 10 reps
• Muscle up transitions x 10 reps

Bent Arm exercise/s:

• Ring muscle ups 5 x 2 – Tempo: 1 scapular retract, 4 seconds up and 8 seconds down (2 up, 2 up, 4 down, 4 down), 1 controlled release of the scapular

Straight Arm Exercise/s (3 sets or each):

• Tuck Planch 15- 20 second isometric hold
• Assisted Leaver 15-20 second isometric hold

Lower Body (day 2):Warm up

• 5-10 minutes of bike with a game of solitaire on the screen
• Ankle and hip mobilization
• Core and glute activations – McGill big 3 and monster walks/clams (isometric holds)

Here is a video by one of my favorite coaches over at SquatU – https://youtu.be/2_e4I-brfqsExercises

• Deadlifts 5 x 5
• Sissy Squats 5 x 5
• Superset – Kettlebell swings w/squat jumps 3×10-12
• Bosu ball single leg balance 2 sets x 1 minute

Core work

• Tuck hollow x 45 seconds
• Side plank x 1 minute
• Serratus push ups x 20 reps
• Rest
• Hollow back x 1 minute
• Side hollow hold x 45 seconds
• Forward planch lean x 1 minute

I stole this very effective workout from Josh from Strength Side on YouTube – https://youtu.be/kTC1Kjoe_9c

Nutrition schedule: *I am not certified to give nutritional advice and I do not recommend that anyone do what I do. This is purely how I structure my own nutrition from week to week.

A few guide lines that I follow:

• Intermittent fasting – leave at least 12 hours between first meal in the morning and my last meal the night before.
• Get enough protein, carbs, fats etc. (not going to go into too much detail on this)
• Always be aware of and observe the effects of the food that I’m eating
• Absolutely, do not eat McDonalds (McCafe coffee is okay)
• Emphasize the reduction of unhealthy oils in my diet before sugar
• Carbs come later in the day (usually for lunch but sometimes later, depending on my training)
• Drink lots of water, at least 3L but aim for 4-5L
• Optimized training and nutrition mean nothing without adequate sleep. I try to get a minimum of 7.5 hours a night (it’s sometimes very hard to do).

Just to name a few…Wake up:

• 1 shot of Fire Cider (I wait 15-20 minutes before ingesting anything else)
• Dissolvable multivitamin with 600ml+ of lukewarm water
• Coffee

Roughly 2-3 hours later:

• At Home – Bacon and eggs with mushrooms, onions and red capsicums
• On the Tools – 175g tin Tuna w/olive oil, mixed beans and rice/quinoa
• Handful of almonds
• An Apple

Lunch Time:

• Steak and Vegies (usually Potato and Broccoli)
• Banana

Afternoon meal:

• Microwave meal (for ease)
• 175g tin of tuna
• Handful of Almonds

Dinner:

• Meat and vegies – pretty much any kind of lean meat, I’m not fussy. I don’t get to adventurous with my vegies though. My staples are Broccoli, potatoes, sweet potatoes, onions and capsicum.

Supplements:Morning:

• 1 shot or fire cider
• Voost dissolvable multivitamin w/ 600ml+ of lukewarm water
• Black coffee and/or Lion’s Mane coffee w/ 1 tsp greens + Collagen Protein + Colostrum
• Fish Oil

Before a workout: I usually train in the afternoon/evening, so the stimulant pre-workouts supplements don’t work for me given that I prioritise my sleep over everything.

• Essential Amino Acids – I also have EAAs on my days off between meals – I sometimes even drink these as an intra work out as well as being mixed up in my pre workout supps.
• Creatine – At the moment I’m using a Creatine Nitrate – I use Creatine HCL on my off days.
• Whey Protein Isolate – I generally try my best these days to strike a balance between supplements that have the least bad stuff in them and their cost effectiveness.

After a workout I like to eat a meal rather than having more supplements. This system of focusing on getting enough protein and Amino Acids throughout the day and not worrying so much about having supplements within the anabolic window but instead, eating some nice food after a workout seems to work for me. Even if it isn’t within this mystical window, I still seem to be able to metabolize everything a lot fast so I can keep the excess fat off and get those gains at the same time.Before Bed:I like to leave at least an hour between my last meal and when I finally go to bed. Having said that, I will have a protein shake (sometimes even with milk) before I go to bed, if I haven’t had enough protein and/or calories for that day.

• Tea – Usually some sort of tea formulated to help with sleep – Chamomile is my favourite but I mix it up all the time. Tulsi’s sleep tea is also very good.
• Magnesium – I usually take magnesium from week to week depending on how my body is feeling.
• Valerian root powder – Specifically for sleep – This works better for me than Melatonin

Other little hacks that help me get through life and keep up the maintenance as a Male Stripper:As you now know, I prioritize my sleep before anything else so it shouldn’t be surprising that I have a long list of hacks and most of them are sleep related.

• Either turning off electronics an hour before bed or (if that’s not possible on the night) don’t look at them while I’m in bed. Partly because of the blue light but also because I believe that the processing of information tricks my mind into thinking that I need to stay awake.
• Essential oils – Either putting essential oils that are specific for helping with sleep into my diffuser or spraying a Sleep Spray on my pillow or even rubbing some into my temples. I buy a lot of my essential oils a EssentialOilWizardry.com
• Setting my air-con to 18 degrees – I get a much better sleep when I have a lower core body temperature. Dressing the bed with season appropriate sheets/bedding is vital as well.
• Meditation – meditation for me, is a staple these days. Every time I catch myself over-thinking while trying to get to sleep or even just through the day, meditation has been my secret weapon to calm the mind to help me fall into a deep sleep or re-center myself so I can get stuck into the rest of my day. The type that I like all has to do with breathe work. Box breathing mainly and when I’m using it for getting to sleep I’ll add in a body scan as well.
• Coloured Lighting – It’s widely known that our circadian rhythms have a lot to do with lighting and the different stimuli that we give or don’t give our bodies at certain times. For example, at night I like to flick all of the light switched to off, and switch to different kinds of lighting, such as my salt lamp near my bed.
• Infrared lighting – There is lots of evidence based research out that anyone can access that shows that there are as vast array of some pretty amazing benefits when you incorporate infrared lighting into your daily or weekly practice. What got me interested was the benefits on sexual health when you use it on your genitals. Can confirm… it works. Right now I try to use an infrared sauna at least once a week but try my best to go twice. I have also ordered an Infrared Light Panel from Joovv.com, which I am very excited about.
• Thermogenesis – I’ve talked about the saunas but I also incorporate cold therapy into my daily practice as well. I love this little bio hack that literally everyone is capable of doing but unfortunately, the benefits don’t outweigh the discomfort for most. I have a cold shower most mornings before I do anything else.

I’ll start the shower off on a normal ‘hot’ temperature but after about 2 minutes or so I’ll turn the tap all the way in the other direction and finish my shower off like this. This may take up to 10 minutes depending on if I have to shave or I’m exfoliating my face that day etc. The shock stimuli that my body goes through just seems to get everything working, from my mind to my penis and everything in between.Pro Tip: To be able to get through the stinging cold blast, you must focus on your breathing. Take slow deep breathes, focussing on getting a long exhale. If you don’t and you start doing those little panic breathes, you’re done for!!!

• Mushroom Extracts – I love all the different types of this stuff. Lion’s mane would probably be my favourite but I usually stack a few in throughout the day, like Turkey Tail with Lions Mane and Chaga in the morning for better brain function and digestion. Reishi and Shitake before bed for a better, deeper sleep. I get mine from lifecykle.com

(If you too would like to learn about bio hacking as I do, definitely look up Ben Greenfield. He’s the man.)Etc… There is probably a lot more I could add to this ever growing list of lifestyle changes but I’ll leave it at that for now.I’ll admit… I do like to squeeze out most minutes of the day to get the most out of life (that’s the way I see it), and sometimes I definitely do overdo it. Working hard and smart has gotten me to where I am today, having a life that a lot of my friends look at with envy. Even though I love my life and I have created a life that gives me lots of choices, I’m only getting started.I feel as though my life has only just begun. Legitimately, my life only really started about 5 year ago, having hit rock bottom and been completely rocked by the loss of a very close family member. I almost felt and still feel somewhat, that it’s now my responsibility to be ready when the time comes that a family member needs my help. I’m not going to be the one that needs help because I didn’t work hard enough on my goals when I could have.Anyways… I digress. I don’t believe that it takes a certain type of person to run a schedule like the one I have just described and as I said earlier, not everyone has to keep up their body maintenance as a Male Stripper but it does take certain attributes and it definitely helps having some certain characteristics like I happen have. Anyone that wants something bad enough will make it happen, and in this case, I want to be at my best, perform and look at my best so that every Hen’s Party that I attend and every single Bride-To-Be gets the best experience that I know will leave a lasting impression.Yours truly,Tommy Desire Director of Desire Entertainment